So, I sit here in great wonder knowing that all things will come to completion exactly as God means for them to be. There are very many situations, actions, and circumstances that these eyes are unable to clearly. There are many times that understanding of where things fit within this infinite puzzle that my Lord has planned for me makes no sense. Yet, I do know how limited a sight this human body is able to see or comprehend. I can tell you that it is in such times that Faith is able to grow, if only a little bit larger than it was the moment before. Faith, which is not simply believing in what cannot be seen, but is a complete reliance upon my true Father in heaven with the knowledge of how helpless a child that I am. I do not understand such a number of things, but I trust in God. He has delivered me and He will guide me, He has given me Life and He will show the way, He has passed by me as I could only watch in complete amazement and He has held me close, since the day I was born.
One gift after another have I been given to share to use for His glory. One Truth after another He has graciously shown me, so that these eyes may see the Light. A Holy Spirt that He has sealed me with and a Love that I will never be able to properly show in all this life. The pain that has been felt from all the past memories that flood this mind of shameful acts and wrongful doings. One prayer that continues to come from within is that my Father through Jesus Christ empowered by His Holy Spirit may move this spirit, this soul, this heart, and this body closer to Him in every way. How can I speak of such things and come anywhere close to what I ask from above will help me to portray with such a limited language? With each rising of closeness to Him, with each event that causes movement every relationship changes. The gain is eternally held, but now there is still this flesh that feels hurt, pain, loss, sadness, and tiredness even when I know it is for the better.
I will begin in this way to speak of how little a person sits at this table. There are those times when I stand, yet I should have sat down. There are those times when I sit down, yet I should have stood. There are those times when I have spoken up, yet I should have held my peace. There are those times when I have kept my peace, yet I should have spoken up. There are those times when humility is held, yet gentle honesty should have been shared. There are times when honesty has been shared, yet how I should have held to humility. There are times when I have done as others have instructed me to, yet I should have turned away from them. There are times I have turned away, yet I should have taken proper instruction. How I could go on, but the point is that there is such imperfection that is me, yet I know that there is such perfection that has been imparted by God. Is there a way to explain such heavenly Truths to those who have, yet to recieve such blessing? Is there a way to impart forgiveness to those who are closest to you, so that they may know peace? I have made so many mistakes, so when others do the same how can I hold it against them?. I have been given and need such forgiveness every day for all that I have failed to do, so how can I not extend forgiveness to all who have wronged me. Such thoughts elude many of mankind who are unable to comprehend such gifts that only God can give.
I see one who is my blood and there is no longer the person, which once these eyes had known. There have been words spoken of Jesus Christ of our Father of His Holy Spirit of all that has been given and of the Truth, which have fallen on empty ears and a closed heart. I see one who is my blood and there is no longer the same person, which once stood before me of admiration and the thought that every word spoken from him was truth. I no longer see the same man that once stood close to me not so long ago, yet in one moment the world I live in will never be the same. Then a little understanding is shown and it is this. Although a Christian works for such unity for all mankind, such a prayer is not possible here. For even when one forgives a given wrong another can choose to harbor hate for the rest of the time given them here. I cannot control others who hold to hate, allow alienation easily, or will not release resentment for others. This is when division comes between Light and Dark, with the prayer that some day the Light will find them. Until such a day comes there can come no unity between those who have been blessed to know Love and those who only know hatred. No appeasement between those who search for Truth and those who hide in the darkness. There is no alignment among those who give with sincerety and those who take deceitfully. Oh how I pray for such Light to be shed upon every human being I know, but that is all I can do for it is not within my power to do such a thing. I am only clay that is shaped by the potter, I am not the potter. I am only a servant, not the Master of the House. I am only the smallest of all His children and there is such pain that will always be felt deep within, which only He can heal. I know the there will come more pain, but it will heal and what is left is more Christ-like character. I know that tiredness will come, but each time the Lord helps me to keep going a little more endurance is built. I know there will be people who come and then they will go, but with each one something has been given and something learned. And I know the day will come when this body will completely fail, but there has been given the Hope of things that will come, which have yet to be seen. This is what we live for every day, all that is the Good News of salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.
May the Peace and Love of God be yours to hold.
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